Here it is, that very common fatigue at year's end. I think I once gave one of my pictures a very similar title. I digress. So yeah, here I am, wearily looking back at an eventful year. Eventful it truly was. And I'm trying to make sense of this tremendous collective of impressions. No use really, one tends to wear out before actually meeting a type of inner consensus. So I'll just try to tackle some of the things that made 2015 so 2015-y. Fuck, did I really just write that? And why is my journal suddenly mutating into a stream of conscience? No one knows for sure. I certainly don't. Anyway, 2015 and singular events/themes that shaped the year are what I was getting at.
I think the first noteworthy thing is that this year the event I had brought to life in November 2014 really took off and sort of became a franchise. "Scary Monsters & Super Creeps" (named after the David Bowie song and album), has really turned into some sort of sleeper hit with a small but faithful following. It made me very proud to see something I had envisioned and planned through get some sort of appreciation. I also got to know a few very nice people that way. And there are always new faces that turn up. All in all I hosted four events this year and each of them was pretty successful in terms of attendees and atmosphere. So that was something.
I also got to delve into film-making again on two instances. I got to be an extra in a short film produced for TV and got to gather some experience there. It was fun. Not always for the right reasons, but hey, fun is fun. The other instance was me being commissioned to film a music video for an acquaintance of mine who happens to be a musician. I already uploaded the rough cut to YouTube, but I still need to make a few changes. Some editing here and there and colour corrections are in order. I'm kind of satisfied with how it turned out for the most part. It's not too bad for my first real commission.
I also got to expand my musical horizon and started an impromptu Blues-Rock project with a friend of mine. We would hang out along the Danube in summer, have a beer or two and burst into a song or two. It was a lot of fun. Needless to say: Creativily speaking, 2015 was a year like almost none other so far. I'm very satisfied with the flow and overall appearance of my photographic output this year. It took me some time to really get the right feeling for it again, but I'm much happier with this year's output than last year's. Some of my drawings were okay too I guess. But my traditional art certainly took the backseat again.
Emotionally I dealt with a lot of things this year. I somehow managed to run the gamut from anxious and restless to more tranquil and aloof to legitimately happy and passionate to sad and ridden with anger to a bit more tranquil again and now finally to confused and weary. One could say I had the full package this year. Currently I'm recovering from a time I'd describe as discouraging and kind of 'Meh'. But there were a few positive instances that stood out as well. I'm very thankful for them, as I am for all the people I can lean on. They mean a lot to me. And I've come to the conclusion that as much as I like to see the mistakes and shortcomings in my life, I'm still happy that I am who I am and that I do things the way I see fit. Sometimes it makes me feel like a stranger, but that's a relatively small price to pay for being yourself and keeping up a healthy dose of skepticism. No one can tell you how to live your life. But it's always advisable to remain yourself and be adamant about it. Sometimes you'll encounter bumpy roads. Sometimes it will feel like nothing you do amounts to anything. That's when you need to take yourself aside and remind yourself that sometimes doing the right thing might feel like having done nothing at all. Life has a weird way of making things seem like that. You do your thing and eventually something will take shape. It's like someone told me a few months ago: "Sometimes it just matters that you do something". And I want to end on these words.
See you in 2016