Having completed another year on this very earth once agains puts me into a pensive mood. Not really, I actually wanted to release this entry a week prior to this one, me turning 23 in the meantime is entirely coincidental. But it sure makes for a hell of a dramatic effect, doesn't it? Anyway, 2014 is in motion and so am I. One month old and this year already has its fair share of pivotal plot-points, side-plots and MacGuffins. Corresponding to many of the pressing thoughts I dealt with and expressed at the end of last year, I am now on a conquest to get rid of the negativity that occupies me. I figured that the best way to do so is by trying to emphasize on my abilities rather than my shortcomings. This might sound like a no-brainer on first glance but I can assure you it's not as easy as it sounds like. I have the feeling that I've put too much pressure on myself to be as much as I can be in situations that my laid-back persona could have handled with ease. Turns out you're probably at your best if you're just being yourself, another no-brainer there, oh well! I just have to accept that I can't be much more than I am right now and start to make my current status a winning strategy by expanding on it. Of course the habit of wanting more will always be a part of me. It's an all too human malady: Desire! It can be a great driving force that leads to greatness but it can also be sparked by a treacherous oasis that turns out to be but an illusion. I from now on try to see it as both of these options - something that provides you with an admirable vision but at the end of the day also something I shouldn't mentally wreck myself over. I don't know if this will turn out to be a successful effort but one can at least try.
I once again find myself in a situation I've been well-acquainted with in the past. A certain thought, a certain desire occupying my mind. Trying to work towards any accomplishment would be futile in this situation. It's on me to treat this fait accompli with responsibility and to try to find something else to work towards. Furthermore it's on me to do some work on my own personality and to prepare myself for future goals. Some things did go well lately and I certainly want to acknowledge them and use them as a great foundation for my ongoing efforts. Lately I've started to gain somewhat of a small following for my traditional art. This means a lot to me, since just a few years ago it seemed like there was never going to be anyone who would actually be into the things I draw. I still don't think much of my skills but it certainly helps that a select few actually enjoy my drawings.
I can also consider myself lucky that the small circle of people I currently socialize with in real life is very supportive of me and makes my life way less lonely. This is nothing to be taken for granted and I also have to acknowledge that! I don't always seem to grasp this fact properly, so without further ado I want to stress that the people that are a part of my life right now mean a lot to me, even if I don't get to see some of them as often as I want to. Each interaction counts, no matter how mundane or insignificant it may seem at first!
One thing that's not for sure yet but might ring true soon: I've answered to a post on the wall of the facebook-page of my student's home, that called for some people that are interested in doing some musical activities. I'm not the most talented musician but I have an ambitious curiosity that may or may not make up for that. Besides, I've been itching to do something in that direction for many months now. We still have to get to know each other and establish our strengths and weaknesses when it comes to producing sounds. I sure hope I can get my portable synthesizer to work until our first meeting, otherwise I'm afraid I can only offer my voice and amateurish, deep crooning surely is an acquired taste.
Another thing: I will take a trip to Berlin in April, inso doing I will be able to cross out my final destination on my list of the three most anticipated metropolitan-city vacations (New York, London, Berlin). I will certainly return with many interesting pictures, so stay tuned!
Speaking of photography: I intend to make the best out of this year. I don't make any promises and so far there is nothing particular I have in mind for this year but I'm pretty sure there will be more portraits in the months to come. I'm totally fascinated by this type of photography and can fully imagine myself doing this on a regular basis.